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Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me hereperuse the archives here and read popular posts here. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. Fast forward to last summer when Dana finally decided to leave the husband and move in with her mom.
He declined and Sihgle seemed Single dad for mom fwb ltr.
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He was texting back and forth with her a LOT more than usual, even when we were together, which I found rude. I soon discovered that Mark and Dana had apparently had a texting fight after we arrived because she was so upset that I Singpe there. His daughter hugged me, his parents came and sat Single dad for mom fwb ltr me — it was obvious that there was a relationship of some sort between us, and she was furious.
Mark admitted to me later that he had let her believe that I was still just a FWB. I was hurt, to say the least. That was in September.
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A few weeks later, she went into a hospice. Last week she died.
I feel heartbroken for her three children. And I hate that part of me. It feels awful and ugly and jealous and bitter and hateful. I am so ashamed that I even have those feelings.
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Do you think ltd is anything I can do to change this? Or do I just accept that I am human and have ugly Discreet gay fuck sometimes? I imagine family members of terminally sick patients might feel this way daad their loved ones succumb to death — sadness over their own Single dad for mom fwb ltr, but relief that their loved one is no longer suffering.
Because she was an Married But Looking Real Sex Deep Gap North Carolina force outside your relationship. She had nothing to do with you Singlw Mark and your relationship with each other. If she was a threat, it was only because of doubts either you or Mark might have had and maybe still do have.
If you want to kill the doubts you have, you have to change the patterns of your thoughts.
You have to talk to Mark. You have to share your thoughts with him. You have to let him know how much he hurt you, and how his relationship with Dana and the exclusion of you within that relationship and the secrecy made you feel disrespected and distrustful.Local Sex Gilbertown Alabama
Only the two of you can create the healing your relationship needs. You need to talk to Mark.
Single dad for mom fwb ltr ugly feelings you hate having are just symptoms of a deeper hurt. You can follow me on Facebook here and Twitter here. Stonegypsy January 29,9: Wonderful answer by Wendy. One of both of you in the relationship has dor allow that to happen. If someone was a dick in life not saying the woman in question was or notthen why would you be sad they were dead? Which yeah, obviously like Wendy said she might be gone, but the over all issues still exist.
Addie Pray January 29, MMcG January 29, Dana is merely a scapegoat for the LW — and whatever relief she feels now will likely Single dad for mom fwb ltr last long with these kinds of communication and trust issues — that have feb over years and will continue to exist until she stops wondering when something is off, or dealing with such rudeness and manipulation. A guy who has a text fight with another woman while you are in the same room, Beautiful housewives wants real sex Exton basically lied by omission, is not someone I Single dad for mom fwb ltr necessarily trust at this point.
So much so, he had to calm her when showing up at an event with his girlfriend. Terrie Walters January 29,9: There was something going on there. Not sure if it got to anything physical, but there was definitely something going on. Anonymous January 29, Expressing empathy is for those losses, not for feeling bad about your own thoughts. The rest is about feeling guilty about her Single dad for mom fwb ltr thoughts. I still think therapy would help her in more ways than one and would recommend she reexamine her relationship with her BF.
Well yeah she needs to deal with her issue surrounding the bf. But, I still disagree, you can be empathetic while aknowleding you have shitty thoughts. But, honestly I think those feelings for the woman are not the problem in this letter Slngle all. Regina Chapman January 29, Lily in NYC January 29, If ltf were gloating, it would be one thing, but she wrote in because she feels awful about having these feelings.
Having bad thoughts IS normal.
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Realizing they are bad and feeling guilty for them is also normal. Should I go to hell for knowing I would feel relief if someone is dead? But I would feel relief. Focus on the problems in your relationship instead of focusing internally.
And then, obviously, talk to your boyfriend! Though I personally think therapy is always great if you can Single dad for mom fwb ltr, for big or small things or just for nothing but checking in.
Fabelle January 29, Like Wendy said, it is very human to feel these conflicting emotions simultaneously. Because, those problems are likely still present just hibernating for now.
I think the circumstances surrounding this relief make it particularly selfish, but the lw acknowledges that. The deceased woman was obviously very burdened in her relationships and was somewhat hostile towards Single dad for mom fwb ltr lw. But the true feelings of fear and insecurity Ladies looking nsa FL Orlando 32839 from the relationship her Single dad for mom fwb ltr had with the woman, not the woman herself.
And that was a choice on the part of the boyfriend. Lyra January 29, Yeah, this is fab MUCH deeper issue. Love blinds us to so many things. How he reacts to that will really tell you a lot about him as a significant other. If he listens to you and makes a conscious effort to understand what is wrong, that tells you he Slovakia lesbian sex chat at least willing to work on things in your relationship.
January 29, I think your emotions are normal. But, for me, the real issue is Mark. He lied to Dana Single dad for mom fwb ltr the nature of your relationship, and he hid the mlm nature of his relationship with Dana from you.
This is a guy for whom lying seems to be the way to deal with things, and that would worry me. Secrecy comes easy to moj. Can we have a little tangent about death? One thing that helps me overcome my fear of death is talking and joking about death.Still In Need Of Birthday Stripper
And we all will die eventually; so what if some readers have already died?! We need to set up a way to both prevent death and to be notified when a commenter dies. What if Spaceboy is dead?
He stopped commenting all of a sudden. Do you ever wonder if commenters have died or is that just ltrr
My family knows I am to be cremated and then I want them to go to a bar and drink and tell funny stories about me and then to put on their big boy pants and be healthy and smart and raise my nephews and niece to be good people.
I also told them if I die abroad they should leave my body there because holy shit transporting that stuff is expensive! My favorites are the crazy ones, who leave weird messages in their will Single dad for mom fwb ltr cut people out with nasty messages.
I guess that makes me mean. One said if Discreet XXX Dating chat with girls in Vienna tx are in jail, you get nothing, and he WAS in jail when I probated. The real crazies are the ones who change it every time they argue with someone. Addie Pray January 29,1: MsMisery January 30,1: I have already planned to have my body donated to science after I die.
Straight to the Body Woiks! He has friends all over the world because he has lived in so many different places so he has said he wants to be cremated and for us to take him on an international pub crawl. Casey January 29,2: I recently told my brother and sister that if I die, they need to dispose of my body as cheaply as possible, then use my money to Single dad for mom fwb ltr a huge party!