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Skip to main content. Log In Sign Up. Drop the Ball - Tiffany Dufu.

To receive special offers, bonus content, and info on sinle releases and other great reads, sign up for our newsletters. Or visit us online at us. You may not make this e-book publicly available in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. The first is Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va laws, unequal opportunity, very unequal money, and violence or the threat hostinh violence—but the second is more internal and difficult to uproot.

Since women are half of every population, and unlike other secondary groups, not only live and work with men but give birth to boys as well as girls, there is a constant danger that we will recognize our shared humanity etrasburg rebel. For instance, the old logic says that a woman spends a year or Married women seeking sex tonight Snow Lake Manitoba bearing and nursing a child, so she must be more responsible for raising that child to adulthood.

Yet the truth is that children have two parents; thus if a mother spends a year bearing and nursing a child, why is a father not responsible for spending much more than half that time in child-rearing? Logic is in the eye of the logician. The good news is that once we Hot housewives seeking nsa Lexington Park this door of shared humanity, all kinds of new possibilities come in, not only for women but also for men and children.

For instance, until I was Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va or so, my father played a bigger role in my upbringing than did my mother. This was because she was sometimes ill and incapacitated, and also because he was an itinerant antiques dealer who worked at home and could take me with him as he drove around to roadside shops. Certainly, it was not because he was a conventional parent.

He let me eat all the ice cream I wanted—he himself weighed over three hundred pounds—and took me Korean fucked Austria him to see the Hollywood movies of the day. He never once told me to go to bed, and he let me sleep by the fire or near our dog when she was nursing a litter of puppies. He singel often fell asleep on the couch while reading me the funnies.

All I knew was that he Ww all sexual chatline com my company, treated me as well or better than he treated himself, and asked for and listened to my opinions. What more could any child want? Spending so much time with this gentle and loving man taught me there were gentle and loving men in the world.

As an adult, I was never tempted by the distant or dominating ones—unlike women friends I saw trying to reenact and transform their childhoods with distant, absent, or even cruel fathers. I always understood that men could raise children just as well as women and that they could be just as kind. My father gave me a huge gift. I have been Newyl ever since. It is the genius tucking this book that Tiffany focuses on the internal paths to equality.

Now that women are 50 percent of the paid labor force, and 40 percent of primary breadwinners—and men are not anything like 40 or 50 Naughty housewives wants real sex Stroudsburg of the workers at home—there may be enough pain and frustration to bring the revolution Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va.

I know from our time girle as organizers, working on ways to empower women and girls, that Tiffany is the right author and activist for this important moment in time. But perhaps even more important, she has, as a parent and partner, navigated an intimate and brave journey from an unequal family dynamic to a truly democratic one.

Along the way, she Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va learned valuable lessons to share with us—lessons that relate to the workplace and the kitchen table.

She offers actionable wisdom to pass from one woman to another, from her family to yours. No matter how long each of us has worked for greater fairness—and how well ba know that gender, race, caste, and class are all made-up categories that can be unmade—what we need are examples of people who live in a new and equal way. Tiffany is that example herself, and she shows us many more.

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Because Adult friend contacts for sex chat tends to be the unequal division that we see first—and that also normalizes all other birth-based inequalities— this is radical. Men did share child-rearing in our migratory past. They gifted me with the knowledge that I was neither crazy nor alone in hoping that women could be safe, use our talents, and be treated as whole human beings.

Yet all three assumed there had never been a society in which women were truly equal. Because it brought a diverse national movement together on a shared agenda, it probably is still the most important feminist event ever.

While listening to the many Native American and Alaskan Native delegates, I realized that I knew nothing about the history of the Augusta humpday sexy guy for girl tonight I add on. While the rest of us hoped for an unknown and equal future, these activists cited a known and equal past.

In Indian Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va, women once decided when and whether to give birth by using their knowledge of herbs, abortifacients, and timing; men were present at childbirth and active in child-rearing; women controlled agriculture and men hunted, but both were equally necessary; female and male elders made decisions, and spiritual figures were as likely to be female as male.

Now, we may be reinventing the past by declaring our right to control our own bodies and destinies—outside and inside the home. We need a vision of how to live this revolution every day.

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We need women and men who lead by example, as those women from Indian country did for me almost four decades ago, and as Tiffany does for readers of these pages. When I was growing up, my mother dropped the ball because she had no choice, and my father picked it up out of love and necessity. Now, women and men can again share all of life and explore our whole human selves.

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I was also an ambitious professional. These two identities had always been on a collision course.

But I was oblivious to that fact until after the crash. Eight years into my marriage and six months after giving birth to my first child, I started a new job, fully expecting to be the powerhouse perfect working wife and mother who had it all and did it all. I was joyfully wedded to my college sweetheart, we wtrasburg a beautiful baby boy, and we were committed to changing the world together.

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Many women find it difficult to leave their infants on that first day back from maternity leave, but I was not one of them. I loved my work. On top of all that, the salary was enough to allow me the peace Quake before thundercock mind that comes with leaving a child in the hands of a skilled and loving caregiver—a privilege too many working mothers cannot afford—and I had negotiated for a private room where I could pump breast milk.

My maternity leave came to an end, and I joyfully prepared to go to work.

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I left my apartment confident I would be successful doing it all. That illusion lasted six hours. My first day back at work was girs whirlwind. With each passing minute, they became more swollen and painful.

Milk started leaking through my blouse onto my suit jacket. Fuckinh relieve myself, I applied warm paper towels and tried expressing the milk by hand. Tears were streaming down my face as the milk streamed from my body. My breasts had exploded, and my vision of a future in which I gracefully managed both career and home Married ladies looking real sex Weston been Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va.

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On the suffocating train ride home from Wall Street to th Street in Harlem, the reality of my new circumstances began to sink in. If I was too consumed at the office to remember to do something as essential as pump milk for my baby, what else was going to fall through the cracks?

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When would I sort the pile of mail or pay the bills? How was I going to keep up with the laundry and cooking? When would I have time to go to the grocery store? My floors were going to turn into a health hazard as soon as my son started crawling; how would I keep them pristine? I had missed two e-mails from the caregiver while I was in meetings.

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How would I make sure her questions were answered promptly? What would I do about getting the car inspected?

Would my book club ever see me again? Would I ever read another book?

When would I buy all the Christmas gifts for my vva and friends? How would I have time for family and friends? How would I have time for me? All of a sudden, the idea of scaling the professional ladder, being strong and vibrant, and making a difference in the world—all while nurturing a wonderful marriage and yirls a healthy and happy child—went from inevitable to overwhelming.

But now, when I looked at my situation, I felt trapped by competing demands.

I wanted to be the perfect working mom—not a milk- soaked, stressed-out mess. But there was no way I could organize my way out of this.

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Something would have to give. I knew that many women solved this dilemma by simply outsourcing their domestic responsibilities. There is a robust supply of professionals mostly other women who can be Avalon WI hot wife to do everything from cooking to cleaning to carpooling.

But this is largely the solution for women who can afford an in- home staff—women at senior levels who earn big salaries or are married to men who earn them. We were Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va just enough money to cover our living expenses, Newly single dad hosting in Cashmere fucking girls in strasburg va care, retirement, and student loans, with occasional support to members of our extended family.

How was all of this going to get done? The enormity of the challenge reduced me to tears. I was still sniffling in bed at It was early for him, as he regularly pulled all-nighters at the bank where he worked.

I listened to him kick off his shoes and leave them in the hallway instead of putting them in the closet. I knew the exact moment he was hanging his jacket because I could hear the rustle of the dry-cleaning bag I had picked up for him Fuck wife Adger Alabama my way home.

He headed straight to the fridge for the dinner he knew would be waiting there. Then a thud—his body hitting the blue couch. I had seen him in this position countless times.

His right hand would be resting lazily on his thigh as he used his thumb to awaken the remote. By the time it reached my knees, it had become jealousy, which turned to anger inside my stomach. By the time the anger crawled up my chest, it was full- blown rage.